Guest Editorial: Tiger hasn’t got jack sh*t on me

Article by NiceBallz.com

By Cash Tackleberry

Life on the tour is tough.  Anyone who has been out there will tell you that’s the case. And I’m not talking about the cushy tour either.  No PGA courtesy cars, full spread buffets in the locker room and people opening doors for you sayin’ stuff like “Good luck today Mr. Tackleberry.”

Hell no.

I’m talkin’ about the mini tour life ya’ll.  NGA Hooters Pro Golf Tour to be exact.  We carry our own bags, pay our own way and let me tell ya Hoss, it ain’t always pretty.

Which is why I guess I’m so ticked off about this Tiger Woods situation. Sure, he’s the greatest golfer in the world, I’ll give him that.

But you’d think he was the greatest golfin’ pimp of all time too, but that just ain’t true.  Tiger hasn’t got jack sh*t on me. Know how I know?  Because that’s me bub.  Cash Tackleberry – number 58 on the Hooters Tour money list, number 1 in the hearts of low country regional golfing honeys.

Now I respect Tiger’s game, both on and off the course, no doubt.  But c’mon, who has more skill? A guy who plunks his rishin’ rod into a well stocked pond?  Or a guy who lands a 500lb marlin with his bare hands!

Tiger’s getting his strange behind a veil of velvet ropes and adult movie industry hookups.

Me?  Try getting someone to agree to play a game of hide the headcover when you’ve just missed the cut at the Terry Moore Ford Open.  Not exactly a panty-dropping conversation starter.  But I get it done son…which is why I’m so ticked off about the attention Tiger’s getting.  If he had to play on MY tour…and had my stats to overcome, shoot – he’d be lucky to be my wingman is all I can say.

That said…I heard there may be trouble in paradise with his boy Stevie?  Anybody got T-dub’s number? I’m not above loopin.  For boootay.